I Got Married, Now What? Because my wedding anniversary is less than two weeks away, I wanted to share a little about my story and how I have magically made it to my third year of marriage.
When the fancy party is over, the honeymoon comes to an end, you find yourself thinking “I Got Married, Now What?”
Get ready for the real deal to start. I’m sure when two people are dating they go through things, problems, struggles and much more etc. But when you are married, you really go through it together. Even if you think you are super independent, you are still tied to another person in one way or another “forever” (so choose wisely).
My own marriage has not been easy AT ALL, but somehow we have learned to overcome things. There are things that no one will tell you about marriage, or maybe they will but you won’t understand until you are in a marriage. I have learned things the hard way, but lucky you I will share some of my advice so you can hopefully avoid some headaches.
#1. Don’t Forget You Love That Person.
When responsibility hits you, with a mortgage, work, bills, kids etc. we get so overwhelmed trying to solve everything. Sometimes (maybe too often) arguments will come up, even if it’s for something stupid, like “you ate the last candy bar in the pantry and didn’t give me half” (true story). Something as insignificant as that can turn into a two-day argument believe it or not. But when we take a step back and think that things like that really don’t matter, and you love that person more than the candy bar they didn’t share with you, everything will be good.
#2. Let Them Have the Remote. (Once in a while)
A marriage should be fair, kind of. So sharing the remote is a good idea, If he or she always watches what you like, be considerate and try to watch some of the things your partner likes. Give it a shot, you might end up finding something you both like and sharing the remote won’t be a problem. My husband loves to watch Sex and The City and Desperate Housewives with me, even though he denied it in front of other people, so shhhh. In return I watch his favorite show, that I have also learned to love It’s all about compromise.
#3 Don’t Take Showers Together.
You will fight too much about who is getting more water time.
#4 Make Time To be Together.
Work and other things can always get on the way, but you are with this person because you enjoy their company. So turn off your laptop, put your phone away and spend quality time together.
#5 Surprise Your Partner
You don’t have to max out your credit card to surprise your spouse, simply by making them their favorite dinner or picking up something they need will make them feel like you are thinking of them. My husband had a phone case that was ripping apart after 2 years of wear, I picked up a new case for him the other day. Best $5 dollars spent, his face was priceless.
#6 Communicate, Communicate, Communicate,
I can’t event tell you how many times I’ve gotten into an argument for misunderstandings. When something bothers you, speak up. Tell your spouse exactly what you mean and put yourself in their shoes and vice-versa. It helps so much to understand the other person’s point of view, instead of trying to defend your own. This one is a major one that has gotten me through all these years.
#7 Support Your Spouse.
There is nothing like having your partner behind you supporting you. Whatever it is that they need support with, let them know you are there for them and will walk together through it.
#8 Set Goals Together.
Being married is more than living together. Setting goals together, dreaming for the future together and working towards those goals together will make your relationship stronger. Achieving those goals together will be worth the struggle and the satisfaction will be even bigger.
#9 Don’t Stop Dating.
It’s hard I get it, especially if you have kids. But going out on a date here and there is super important. You will get reminded of those days where the butterflies wouldn’t stop and you will automatically remember why you chose that person.
#10. Say I love you, a lot.
Saying “I love you” shouldn’t be something that you need to do. It’s not mandatory, and you should not say it if you don’t feel it, but you obviously love this person if you married him or her. Remind them you love them every chance you get or feel it.
More than anything, enjoy it. Being married is a wonderful thing, having someone you love next to you, supporting you and loving you is a great feeling. No one said marriage would be easy, but it’s worth it. Forming a family, walking through life next to each other and growing old together is something special.
With that said, Happy almost-wedding anniversary to my husband, I love you.